I hope it produces one of those opinions that is dripping with contempt, but yet professional and legally correct.

I bet if we shoved a finger into either of these douchebags against their will, they would consider it rape. 

I went to law school, and I’ve heard some absolutely absurd arguments in my time, but holy crap on a cracker, this takes the cake.

Furiously masturbating whilst silently weeping with shame.

You know what would be more satisfying?  Not giving these people a platform in the first place. 

“Just because somebody is redheaded, they were accused of being some sort of spy for Russia.”

I used the occasion to remind him that shit like this is why his daughter can't be served in polite society.

Fuck off.

When one or more of these turds finally get arrested, the day of the perp walk will become an official holiday in my life. I will celebrate it every year. If one of them actually goes to jail, it will be a week-long Risky Business-style rager, complete with irresponsible binge drinking and 80s and 90s dance music on a…

is a korean stuffed cucumber a cucumber stuffed by a korean or with a korean?

There goes my dream of Trump and Pence sharing a cell with Ryan...

I’m curious why she stayed if he was such an awful husband. Surely she could have found a happier existence through divorce and plenty of NBC cash. It can’t have been fun to have an estranged husband that you make social appearances with a plastered smile for. The rich are so odd sometimes.

I confess I stopped reading after the picture, so is it established who gets custody of the pup?

Nah, Pence is just back there using 99.9% of his brainpower trying to convince himself that he’s straight.

Pence’s head: “I’m going to up the dose of his daily poison another ounce. This is taking too long.”

Can we have one fucking thing from this administration that isn’t completely terrible or completely absurd?

I JUST CAME HERE TO TALK ABOUT HARRY AND MEGHAN BUT NO ONE IS UP. GET UP. DON’T YOU HAVE SPECIAL ALARMS FOR THIS SORT OF THING???

Ok, “job,” ceremonial role, whatever. I agree it’s a flawed institution in need of modernization, but it’s not like she’s not making some form of protest for the greater good. If she takes a stance I’ll give her credit for it, but until then she doesn’t get a pass, much less admiration from me for being lazy, selfish…

We all want Melania to be a wealthy widow.