I literally stopped reading the first book before Frodo even got to leave his village. I remember three paragraphs about the inside decor of Bilbo’s house and a wooden chair Gandalf sat in and said “Jesus fuck, get on with it.”

It's kind of sad that I haven't watched any of those HGTV type shows for more than maybe 5 mins at once and I know exactly what you mean 

Wake me up when there’s a countdown clock for the Venture Bros movie.

yes, but nerds are always going to be nerds 

Thanks for posting that, I enjoyed reading it.

Same. I have always been more than happy with off-screen sex. I don’t want to see any more rape scenes, so I guess I’ll be fast-forwarding through any of that.

If she wanted to be kicked out of Lollapalooza, why didn’t she just make a bold statement about her connection reggae music, or wreck Peter Frampton’s pig?

It’s the mark of a true dystopia that today’s teens would jump straight to fake shooting threat excuses rather than something more mundane like a grandma dying, or another old classic of that nature.

They actually just added it with the Ambrose Island update. And unless they’ve patched it, they’re really broken: they can blow up targets or set them on fire through walls. Like, throw one at the ceiling below where a target is standing on the floor above, and it will kill them. It’s hilarious in a “this is suddenly…

Hopefully the studio can get the Coen brothers to reunite and direct, thus making Bill Murray’s misconception a reality.

Excuse you, it is a well known fact that Adelaide is all about Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said this line, I’d have enough money to buy Paltrow’s head in a box.

Based on this review, it sounds like Bullet Train is all a-bored.. I.. I’ll see myself out.

This film is Amtrack to lose big at the box office. 

I once got yelled at on a Japanese shinkansen for watching Veronica Mars Season 1 too loudly.

Puns like these left the station hours ago.

I dunno, a review that is is too dependent on puns can quickly...run out of steam

They engineered a disaster.

will we take a visual tour from Brad’s undercarriage to his caboose? all aboard boys!

Closer To E.G.O.T. sounds like some kind of existentialist play.