I seal all my DVDs and books in tupperware containers, and then put those tupperwares into their own tupperwares. I'm thinking of adding a third layer of tupperware because I'm still worried about contamination degradation.

He's still sad the whole world plagiarizes him. He came up with every great idea ever because he wanted us to be more innovative. Instead, we steal from him and rehash the words he uses in inferior ways, turning ourselves into funhouse mirror reflections of himself.

The key is to projectile vomit so you don't have to smell the old dessert as you refill yourself with new dessert!

Of course they can tell. He's got flirty eyes and he licks his lips too often. Classic broadcasting of Queer Rays 101.

The Echo will infect you with aerated nanobots that you breathe in from all the bossing around. Once established, you use the remote on yourself to ensure instant, undisturbed slumber.

Sucking the meat off bones is how you remind yourself that you're a lesbian for the safety of men. When presented with an erection, you know you couldn't resist smoking it overnight, still attached to the living man, until it crumbled apart against a plastic spoon. How could anyone believe saliva and chewing alone…

It doesn't seem fair unless her red-hot poker has nerve endings that allow her stimulation from all that tiresome thrusting.

Froth has always been erotic. I've lost too many friends from trying to copulate with sea foam.

Rereading Frank Herbert's Dune Chronicles since it's been six years since the last read through. Currently on God Emperor of Dune, a personal favorite.

Holy shit, they actually made the movie? I gave up hope around 2011.

I'm assuming the Ex is Marilyn Manson and that their movie was Jawbreaker.

If I die, I want my sister to have to discover every passing fancy that made my prick twinge. That's why I seed all my filthiest smut among folders with pictures of family and pets.

My brother calls it a sway-back. Billy's sway-back is a good five months along.

How ripped did you get brah?

You're right. We should destroy all breeds of dog indiscriminately. Mutts are the One True Dog, and anything with a trace of discernible something must be eliminated on sight because humans can't control their eugenic impulses with their pets.

Can I trot out Greece and Rome enslaving the rest of Europe, and Vikings pillages Ireland to use and sell to Arabians to prove that slavery wasn't racist? At the very least, I would like to propose former slaves become fixated on becoming slave masters themselves to find empowerment. Banning slavery before blacks…

She seems pretty content spreading the gospel for laxative yogurt.

You need to work on your empathy, because you should ruminate about what every complete stranger says as if uttered by a closest friend. "Not attractive, especially the face" is the koan that'd reveal the depth and wisdom of those shits you selfishly hoard.

Sorcerers are all about warping the laws of physics to their will except when they screw everything up, so it's a miracle he's legible. You should appreciate the depths he lowers himself to in order to grace us insects with his revelations.

That's because everyone knows time is an asterisk, and even that isn't holding up.