"Schadenboner"? That's fucking awesome.

I believe it's a babysitter distracting Bart with a comic book. I haven't seen the episode in a while, so I'm a bit fuzzy on the details.

Is he Ricky from the show Trailer Park Boys?

I love this and your username so much.

I'd consider myself mostly straight, but a beautiful lady is a beautiful lady.

I had a sex dream about Jessica Biel once. She's lovely.

So this troglodyte doesn't get a boner over her anymore? How sad!

"The Godly men who founded this Republic objected to Redcoats tromping through their domiciles with muddy boots, and so codified the right to be free from unreasonable search and seizure in the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution. Not in their worst wig-spinning nightmares could they have imagined that amendment…

Oh, when a large woman rejects them. The blow to the ego! That's why I usually block someone after I say "no" on OKCupid (and the message is usually rude and/or stupid anyway) - I know that's the response I'm going to get...

Haha. I've seen those ads on Craiglist! When a man is that insecure about what other people think of him, it isn't exactly a goddamn turn-on.

Seriously. Stop giving me a confusing ladyboner, Jamie Dornan!

MISSY!

Aww, how cute. A Republican pretending he cares about women.