Counterpoint: fuck off

I have Smile Direct, it’s a fraction of the price and just as good. They’re REALLY back-ordered though.

I’m a non-pats fan who lives in Maine and I want nothing more for them to lose, for the exact reasons this article states. It’s hilarious listening to them bitch, and it’s much better than hearing them gloat. I want them taken down a peg or five.

Drew...you went to college up here (Maine) and never rode a snowmobile? Did you go outside?

I would expect nothing less from a dude who has a commercial where he fucks a mattress.

The fact that this is un-greyed and has 35 stars makes me weep for humanity.

Yeah but that headline wouldn’t be nearly as click-baitey and we can’t have that.

If you expect professional writing from a Gawker website you’re gonna have a bad time.

I find it hard to believe that that hair/beard/face combination could be capable of anything nefarious.

I find it hilarious that you routinely insult 50% of your audience and then beg us to turn our adblockers off.

Good God Rondo is a penis

Because of a poor installation job and a chain that likes to hang, my garage door sounds like the lead guitar riff in Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watchtower” every time it opens. My wife thinks I am an idiot, but it really gets me pumped up to run inane errands.

My method is to open the dishwasher, and if there is gross shit everywhere, they’re dirty.

Why did you put the five worst times as your top 5?

I hope it’s an obnoxious liberal who mentions how much he hates Trump in every article, you guys don’t have enough of those.

My rule of thumb is that if it feels slimy, toss it. I’m going to keep doing that.

Ahhh, the proud American tradition of wishing death upon those your opinion differs with.

Who got a lifetime ban?

I’m pretty sure people that can see don’t even want to read my tweets.

As a lifelong Niners fan living in Patriots country, I wholeheartedly endorse this.