in all seriousness...who the hell pays for porn? the most degenerate, porn-addicted son of a bitch on earth couldn't possibly get through even a small fraction of the free porn on the internet.

it was on Deadspin's front page, usually they only cover real sports so I was curious as to what this was.

Would love to see you write a guacamole article!

Yes, I'm terrified. I don't know if I'll ever recover from not knowing that kicking a ball into a net is amaze-balls. I should probably be castrated so I don't reproduce.

Thank you for giving me the only non-dickhead answer to my question lol. Like I said, I don't watch soccer so I didn't really get it.

So...he's Rocky IV?

not from what i've read, no

I don't watch soccer like....at all, so I guess I don't get what's so great about this...it just looks like some dudes passing and then one scores. Am I missing something?

I am a lifelong, die-hard 49ers fan. This team is a fucking train wreck right now.

uh...what? yeah they are.

"I would just like to take a moment in this completely non-political article and remind you that I'm a liberal asshole!"

We also would have accepted Roger Goodell

I've owned pigs. That number is going to be hovering around 100% of the lifetime of the pig.

If they think you're an asshole for wanting to watch your team in the NFCCG then you're better off without them. Christ I would skip my grandma's funeral for that.

Clawin Katpernick

The most tolerable one is a 9/11 truther, which is saying a lot.

Like most Seahawks fans, I'm assuming he's only been a fan of football for two years or so.

26 of 46 with one touchdown and 211 passing yards is well above average?

"They're bumming fags all over the place"

Homeless Mike is too drunk to care, and it's 3:30 PM so he's probably not up yet. Unless you're talking about a different Homeless Mike, in which case, carry on.