“I’m sorry, both the president and vice president are unavailable all day. They’re out racing corvettes with Jay Leno.”

She fucking killed that debate and I am drunk and a nasty woman and also i love bad hombres and fuck him and i ate a burrito and several cookies and maybe like a whole bottle of whine or wine or shit or omg i need to go to bed even on the west coast i am a mess omg i hate trump o hope he dies ifn a fire

When to stand during a sporting event?

I would’ve said “don’t call them ‘retarded’ ass hole”

I was on a date with this one gal

Really? Then maybe some Republicans will actually read it since it’s in their preferred format.

This is the Best Rally Porsche

Sorry, what?

Every one of you annoying, pedantic grammar nazis who like to go on about the “declining quality of Jalopnik articles” need to step the fuck up right now and apply.

Audi to NASCAR confirmed.

Geez... now I’m glad Chevrolet switched to trapezoidal taillights. I haven’t seen such ugly, round taillights since the last 74-78 AMC Matador coupe bit the dust.  

I was truly and utterly underwhelmed when I attended a hill-climb. The cars are cool for all of the 2 seconds you see them as they go by. Also, after about 2 hours, I started to get a wee bit bored since I was only able to see a few hundred yards of one section of one track. After 10 hours of staring at the same…

This is the correct answer to the problem. My property does not get to determine whether I live or die, not for orphans, not for priests, not for the president.

What do you know?!? Ricky Bobby was actually telling the truth!

There’s a channel that shows old Johnny Carson-era Tonight Show shows (man, that’s a lot of shows in one sentence).

I have been here. And recently. This is a man I don’t and will likely never know, but I’m going to weigh in here.

F1's US broadcast can go wherever it wants. I’ve been spoiled by torrenting Sky’s glorious coverage. After seeing guys I respect, who I watched race and win F1 championships in the 90's talk F1 for an hour pre and post-race/quali, from inside the paddock, pulling aside drivers and team managers as they pass by for…

One is for Ramming, one is for Dodging.

“Our culture is filled with bars and strip clubs on every corner.”