Because men like Sessions are cowards at heart. 

What kind of idiot cleans with Gin? In addition to being pissed, I would have requested the vodka.

On the flip side, it gave us a fucking great burn from the local Detroit paper.

I feel very called out by “Marmot windbreaker.”

“I never thought leopards would eat MY face!” sobbed man who voted for the Leopards Eating Peoples’ Faces Party.

It held Brock Osweiler to 139 yards on 15 completions

This is the kind of professional analysis I come here for. Truly the Tony Romo of Kinja.

Oh great, another punting analogy, smh.

Some of those things sound like the objective was reached, though.

The equivalent punting performance would be running on to the field during a Salute to Service break, going full John Wick on a TROOP’s twig’n’berries with your foot, and then kicking the mascot’s head into the crowd where it impales a Make a Wish kid.

I’m sorry, you said this was going to dissuade?

“Many people are saying they’d like to play with me. The best people. Very best. Very beautiful people. My uncle, who was a player for MIT, told me that I have a great football mind. One of the best. Maybe the best. Very natural football scientist. Many people are saying so. I don’t know. Maybe I am.”

Corrupt and Stupid. This is the most believable theory I have seen thus far.

Clutch move with the preemptive Chopped GIF.  Saving a lot of comment space.

It is entirely possible all of this is a blip, that the Jaguars offense will return to being merely mediocre, and that’ll be enough for another deep playoff run.

I’m not your buddy, pal

Buddy

So you’re saying the gas and oil industry is backing a particular horse in this race?

I’m not really interested in being lectured about fiscal responsibility by the guy who gave massive contracts to both Brock Osweiler and Case Keenum.

Also no US municipality would be able to get a car marked as abandoned and crushed inside of three days.