Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

This is your correct answer. This is the only answer.

Low load height, quirky, and cheap? I think I know what you need:

can we please stop pointing to goddamn polygraphs like they mean anything? might as well call in a phrenologist. 

What the fuck is with that editorializing line at the end?

Just did some back of the napkin Excel spreadsheet math on this one, and boy are there a lot of variables here to determine how bad of a deal this is, but no matter how you slice it, it’s a really bad deal.

I’ll take “guy who knows things” shtick over your “performative outrage” shtick any day of the week, thanks.  

Counterpoint: NDT has taught me many things, and Jack Crosbie has not enriched my life in literally any conceivable way.

I don’t know, is using Carmelo on defense ever a smart move?

Smart move on his part. Clearly lays the grounds for an insanity plea later on.

I’m torn who to root for because fuck the Yankees, but also fuck the Umpires.  

Generally, opinions are not wrong. De gustibus non est disputandum and all that. But in this case you are wrong

Good call on the peewee game. It’s awesome because there is...

It’s sad that Michael Winslow just stood by and made funny noises.

Two suggested additions: intermission peewee hockey (which I would rank separately from #24, and which imho is a top 10 event) and “jumbotron shows some iteration of the shell game” (which is always bad and yet you cannot take your eyes away from it).

Does “Animal on the field” include like a Frisbee catching dog at half time? I LOVE that shit.

Ok, just for you: I have had two Subies, one current and one a 90s headgasket case. (I also own Hyundai, Toyota). I need 4WD -(work in public safety so no snow days for me). I get to work and drive 4WD Government Explorers. It does not matter if the snow is an inch or 10, on a mountain slope, 1/2 can make it impassible…

Detroit had two top offensive talent that were transcendent in the way they played the game at their position (Sanders and Calvin Johnson). Both retired early (with good money still on their contracts) instead of continuing their career with the Lions.

If he had ended up on teh cowboys and Emmitt was on the lions Barry would have had 25k yards rushing and emmitt would have been a night manager at a bowling alley after 3 years in the league.