The judge denied his request to be sent to juvie.

Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

Can’t wait for Mark Wahlberg to play Edelman in the movie version. The ball will be voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

Lincoln didn’t even stay for the end of the play.

I don’t believe that will even do it.

Ben Stein: Ok class let’s reveal who we voted for. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

But what about Pinchot? GET OUT OF THE CITY!

Usually unwise to pick up so many discarded Trojans.

I. Ya Mar, Blowing off studying for Pre-cal test but yolo, Harpua, Texting Steve about that Harpua, Calling Mike’s Song, Wading in a Velvet Sea

This is the biggest Lynn-Manuel drama since Pence saw Hamilton.

Next time you are hanging out with your buddies, trip one and kick the other in the balls. Then report back about who was more upset.

You can’t go around slamming cliques - they’re sensitive. Be gentle.

In Russia, the Bears are actually a threat.

If she has ever been in the vicinity of Mayweather chances are he hit her.

[T]he girl, she dropped her purse, that’s when she came in my face.

I’m sure you’ll FIG-ure it out

Aqib Talib Promises To Beat Harry Douglas’s Ass

How would you feel if your wife started telling people in the checkout line that you don’t wipe quite as thoroughly as she’d like? She isn’t wrong, but maybe you’d appreciate her not talking about your shit in public?

A good example of not rushing to judgement would be refraining from shooting another person in a fit of road rage.

their playoff chances have fallen to 32 percent, per FiveThirtyEight.