When does that caveman-missing link husband of hers report to prison?

Oops, wrong reply.

That's not illegal? What the......

My girlfriend Heidi Klum and I always feel bad when kids have to make up stories to make themselves seem more popular.

Chad grew up and changed his mane to Martin Shkreli.

My family took a trip out west when I was a kid. We had a camper and stayed at national parks along the way. One time at this campsite there were these really green, waxy-looking leaves all over the ground. I picked some up to show my dad and I said that they looked like they were plastic. My dad proceeded to tell me…

Danger Zone! Archer is the best!

I thought the same thing.

Biggest lie, The Republicans care about the middle class.

I can see the ringtone as a joke, but as a serious song, nope.

More Cowbell!!!

I remember buying a Polaroid One Step with a separate flash unit when I was in 6th grade. I thought I was Ansel Adams.

Everyone says that if you pay the workers more then the cost increase comes on the back of the consumers. You hear CEOs say that they can’t afford to pay more when the fact is you could pay more and make a little bit less on your bottom line. God forbid they make a little less money.

Let me guess, Ellie Day got called for blocking instead of LeBron for charging.

I'm all for her winning money from ancient Rupert Murdoch but I think it's possible that she jumped ahead of other female reporters who might be better qualified but she got the job because she's so attractive. So maybe it all evens out.

A Real Housewife from Beverly Hills begging for attention?? I would never believe that, HaHa! If I was that ill the last thing I want is a TV crew in my face. I know Lyme disease is a long illness to deal with but I totally believe she's milking it.

Well I think he graduated from Baby scumbag to Colossal Scumbag. Beat all three of these animals with skateboards until blood flows from their ears.

Ben Carson is using that photo for his campaign, "If I become the next president I will beet hummus." Or to translate, I will beat Hamas.

The dude probably won't care if she leaves him at the altar, all he will care about is how many hits the clip got on YouTube.

Madea Magdalene