You simply can not convince me not to like the Lancia Thesis.

Sigh. The cloaking device was a ROMULAN invention. They traded it to the Klingons in exchange for warp drive technology.

C’mon, guys. Get your nerd references in check.

The aging A-7 Corsair II, nicknamed the SLUF as in Short Little Ugly Fucker

Old Range Rovers don’t have a safe word. The punishment never stops.

Whom do I have to fellate on twitter to get a CarMax warranty on it?

Once, my company decided to allow anyone on flights over 12 hours to fly business class. I was the first to try out the new policy and flew from SF to Bangalore India. It cost almost $10k. I was the last to try out the newly cancelled policy.

Round it out, I’m thinking a 5 year old Quattroporte from a DEA auction along with the Aston and Range Rover will give us 7 Doug columns a week!

A highly reliable SUV.

My reliable, trouble-free Skyline that never once sounded like it was trying to birth an alien through its front brake caliper.

Rent a Nissan Leaf and compare it to the Aston.

Are they all emails that are like “It’s pretty reliable, except for the time the maximal guibo went out. And the interior lights don’t work when I’m in third gear. Oh, and this is my sixth engine, and the doors melted off twice in the garage. But it’s been pretty reliable overall.”

Have you ever thought about buying a Maserati Biturbo?

This Aston ownership saga will provide you with a lot of material for an ongoing piece on North Eastern towing companies. I look forward to reading those stories too !

I’m willing to bet that this is exactly what you thought it was: a pebble stuck in the brakes or wheel or some other rotating assembly.

It's like an OtterBox for your Aston.

Doug if i ever win the lottery i’m going to follow you on all your trips in a Beige Toyota Camry Hybrid. Just like the top gear challenges...

my go to gif when the british car breaks down and doug has to take it in to the shop under its warranty.

This reminds me of an old Married With Children episode. I’m not making fun as I can totally relate to these problems (VW GTI, AMG).

you know how convenience stores will post bounced checks near the register to let everyone know who is a pain in the ass to them? I’ve got to believe your name is in every goddamned used car dealership in the country by now.

I imagine that in some parallel universe, the Aston actually chose you, based on it having reached some level of sentient thinking and upon reading all your articles about your Land Rover it decided “oh, you want to see British un-reliability!??! I’LL SHOW YOU BRITISH UN-RELIABILITY!!!”