dirty diapers stuffed in McDonalds bags alongside half eaten cheeseburgers in the trunk

Esteem - əˈstēm

From Dictionary.com:

Oldsmobile Achieva? Striving for new levels of mediocrity maybe.

Not even a lady...

Dodge Monaco. Would never be allowed in Monaco.

Inspired by my coworker’s rental car...the Edge.

“Smart” - IS IT?

Pontiac Bonneville. A car named after the place best known for setting top speed records that... most definitely isn’t doing anything related to top speed.

The Chevy Spark because it is not an electric car (in most states)

Toyota Venza. The name is a combination of “venture” and “Monza.” As in the racetrack Autodromo Nazionale Monza. Other than having four wheels this car has absolutely nothing in common with the cars you’d find at Monza.

The Grand Prix. Nothing GPish about it, Pontiac has no history in GP racing, and it certainly wouldn’t be the “big prize” for anything except maybe a really bad radio contest from the 90s.

Ford PROBE..... just awkward

I can still see it.

The Plymouth Acclaim, because it was met with little to no... well you get the idea.

Pontiac LeMans. Never been to LeMans.

Chevrolet Celebrity

Obvious answer is obvious. The Aspire

I believe in the free market but car dealers donate more.

Neutral: I would like to see crash testing, lighting and turn signal standards unified with Europe. That way having Euro market cars in the US would not require massive changes and allow them to bring us Laser headlights and RS4 Avants. Or at least mark them as equivalent so I could get some grey market cars...