Am I the only one who has no idea who this woman is?

Rick Santorum is gonna be pissed about this.

I'm trying to find a way to compare these excerpts to "The White Shadow."

I believe it was Livia Soprano who first said "Poor you!"

The "something new" received by bride and groom was a shiny Victrola.

I think I speak for everyone when I say - that was fucking easy!

I think we all know how Tony LaRussa got pink eye now.

All of what the congressman says is true. Every time a woman gets screened for ovarian cancer, I feel like half a man.

It is comforting to see that not everyone under the age of 16 is a lethargic, screen-saturated, nihilist. Stay frisky, kiddo!

They're just anticipating a time when Gaddaffi and Berlusconi try to seek asylum in their fair country. Without the prospect of professionals for hire, the two fallen leaders would seek greener pastures, far from the banks of the Seine.

Not to mention that this brave beacon of self-awareness and 21st Century progressiveness hides behind a goddamned pen name.

Some things you just can't un-read.

Nothing more obnoxious than Europeans justifying their douchebaggery by blaming it on interactions with "typical Americans." Though they consider themselves elevated human beings, they tend to just be solipsistic, amoral fascists.

Elevator operators always pass on the good guys - until the third act finale, that is.

Yet she led on poor, hapless Jack Lemmon for months while she was wasting her time with that creep Fred MacMurray.

My bourbon lifestyle involves 12 dollar bottles, bad television, and lots of crying. Join me and drink up, ladies!

Somebody had to do it!

When American dignitaries get hitched, members of the British aristocracy get together for Shepherd's Pie eating contests. That's how Fergie and Andrew met.

Who has two middle fingers and likes the Frozen Four? THIS GUY.