Aw, come on. No “Who Let The Knives Out?”

Incorrect:

I have the same underbite...don’t smear our representative in the media, or I will chew food, slightly less efficiently, at you.

Killing me Softee with his song, killing me Softee...

When you’re writing a script for a multi-million dollar film and need some snappy dialog, there’s no one better than “xSpooge420x” or “KKKarma69” for tips.

whenever anyone says “I pay X in taxes”

so is, “i pay x in taxes....” the new, “ im not racist but...”

Hello, Joe.

Iron helps us play.

Lisa needs braces!

DENTAL PLAN!

Lisa needs braces!

DENTAL PLAN!

I always thought it was odd he lived in that dream house, with a beautiful wife, a son who owns a factory and lobster for dinner.. Meanwhile I live in a single room over a bowling alley and under another bowling alley.

As a friendly warning, you may want to put your flame suit on. You’re going to need it.

Shut the fuck up you ignorant piece of shit. Studies consistently show black people get shot at a much higher rate.

Yikes. Go back to breitbart. 

I look forward to the day people stop conflating “cancelled” with “consequences”

What the fuck did I just read?

Tusk-tusk, one does not simply make a pun about such a hairy escape