seriously. these people are all seven years old.  

Meanwhile on the other side of the aisle;

Barr has trouble responding because Trump’s balls are in his mouth.

“I am monitoring the situation in Venezuela very closely.”

***** Raphael Cruz was born in Alberta, Canada *****

“But sheez, if you don’t want to pay for expensive movie food, eat before or after the movie.”

Counterpoint: go fuck yourself. You eat can eat when you want to eat, I’ll eat when I want to eat. 

Isn’t this just a scam? She’s a “senior advisor”, that’s business speak for “does nothing but gets paid”.

She’s not blonde, so how is she qualified for this gig?

Obama would’ve been impeached a long time ago for this kind of blatant, repeated nepotism.  And how many advisors does the Orange Dotard need?  He just ignores anything that isn’t Stephen Miller’s latest Wiley Coyote plan to stop immigrants.

Congrats to Kim on her successfully sleeping her way to the bottom.

Kelly wrote that he did not control the newly-created Medium and Twitter accounts that posted the allegations under his name. When asked if he could verify his identity, he texted the Daily Beast a selfie that matched the photo seen on Medium and on Kelly’s longstanding Facebook accounts.

And if you, like the ladies who sat next to me this weekend, bring an entire meal (with appetizers) from PF Changs to eat during the movie? And have to get up to wash your hands twice? And leave your smelly trash? Die in a fire.

Regarding the photo leading this article, I’m gonna go there: a man standing at a podium, looking regally down his nose as an ocean of supporters go crazy behind him — that looks like a Nuremberg rally. That dude imagines himself, wants himself to be, and has supporters who worship him as, a dictator.

I. AM. GROOT.

“I am a young vibrant man.”

Dude, I think you’re having a stroke. 

I would say the real headline should be that Trump is giving a talk to a white supremacist group... but that would be old news, since we all know our president is peak white genetics, just like Ted Nuggent.

Trump has preserved a lot more energy than most of those other candidates have over the course of their lives because he doesn’t work out.