“Our leaders are for diversity, just not where they live,” Carlson said.

That image of the him and Jesus in bathrobes is now making sense... jfc.

She forgot to say if her husband Barack supports this…

Last time the tech industry did something about cyberbullying, a bunch of white people cried for some reason.

it appears she did so with a completely straight face.

Yes, but not at the same time.

He’s worried about a safe table? Will he and Candy be fucking on it?

Why is Candy Carson involved in any decision involving the spending of taxpayer money?

It never ceases to amaze me he went to work under the man who called him a child molester.

I don’t recall seeing Candy Carson’s confirmation hearing. Doesn’t she have something else to do? Why do I know her name?

This excuse hasn’t become any less odious since the first time i heard it. Candy Carson, though dubious in her choice of spouses, seems to be a woman of both accomplishment and taste. She is also a 7th Day Adventist, folks to whom overspending on luxury items is considered unseemly. I’m guessing this is not about…

your imagination is disturbing in its detail

That level of manipulation would probably work on Trump.

Hey, Trump, you know what Obama would to? He’d listen to his lawyers. You wouldn’t want to do what HE would do, now would you?

I have an idea I think may work.

“the Jews do not, in fact, control the weather.”

Roy Moore looks like the most disappointing cowboy-themed male stripper possible.

Your hotel rooms have door locks and electricity? Fancy. Honestly though, I have never seen an electricity lockout like this.

So obviously Brett is the guy chosen to write incredibly stupid joke articles that pose as serious editorials. As a long-time reader, let me be among the first to say: “Fuck you, Brett, and fuck this stupid attempt at ‘satire’ Splinter is trying to make happen.”