I have a feeling he’s not-so-privately told friends that teachers shouldn’t be armed because “every month those womefolk just go crazy and can’t be relied on not to shoot the kids.”

You cannot possibly be serious.

The most surprising thing about all this?

Trump has an aversion to it, and yet both Daddy Trump and Grandaddy Drumpf were fans of the ‘stache.

Soon we’ll get White House briefings from Press Secretary Sean Hannity, who will discuss the activities of Secretary of State Tucker Carlson and Undersecretary for Women’s Affairs William O’Reilly.

Bolton. John fucking Bolton as NSA. This truly is the darkest timeline.

*Conscience

I have been informed that spousal privilege—much like attorney-client privilege—does nit over illegal acts.

They are two women who achieved “fame” by simply being two very loud black women who support Trump.

Thank god.

Thanks for the victim blaming. “He MIGHT have done something risky. I don’t have any proof, but he deserved to be fired anyway!”

May I suggest that when you finish a course, like your salad, fold your napkin, place it on the table, and place your silverware atop it. When the next course comes, hold your silverware in one hand and place the napkin in your lap with the other. I’m told this is the proper etiquette.

You mean, like, a napkin? Because I rarely if ever see those nowadays.

And Melania is...whose definition of attractive?

So maybe this was what Trump’s unhinged tweet about the Oscars was supposed to distract us from?

Give the server cash directly. As in, put it in their hand.

Family reunification can be a good thing, but why should we be concerned with reunifying families of obvious means? Perhaps we should make efforts to keep refugee families from Syria together before we keep the Knavs family together...

Nah. That dude’s tie isn’t nearly long enough for him to have copied Hair Furor.

I remember reading that that gunshot was improvised because Harrison Ford was so sick from food poisoning that he couldn’t do the scene as scripted (which would have been a long fight sequence, IIRC).

How I text depends entirely on who I’m talking to. If it’s my mother, texts are walls of words to get the point across. If it’s my boyfriend, it’ll be a plethora of short messages between us.