I was hoping the entire article was just the guinea pig doing other strange and adorable things. The article was still good, but I’m feeling disappointed.

Sam Rockwell is a national treasure.

I have never heard of a children’s museum that doesn’t allow non-parents. I am so glad the one in Indy isn’t that way! I’ve gone many times with family and friends and their kids, and I would be so sad to be excluded. That rule just sounds way too extreme, in my opinion.

I’m an Indiana resident, and the news that Pence might get impeached also is the best news I’ve heard in a LONG TIME. I really really hate that guy. Really.

I live in Cumberland, so your too-accurate profile of inhabitants of New Pal hit very close to home. I know these people, but I can’t understand them.

It may not have been fashionable, but as recently as the 30s, people on the prairies of Kansas were wearing bonnets on the farm. I know this because my Grandma HATED wearing hers (didn’t like having things covering her ears) and her mom was always after her for getting such tan skin.

*screams forever*

Uh, how “up close” have you seen the French drinking culture? Because I lived there for a while, and several French people told me that heavy drinking—and drunk driving—is actually pretty bad there, but most people are so proud of their reputation for having a good drinking culture, that nobody really does anything…

I just really want to believe that there are people from, like, Sephora and MAC and whatnot just waiting with baited breath to see what they should be designing.

How is she breaking the law? She has DACA, so the government knows about her. She isn’t flying under the radar or evading anything.

Has science gone too far?

You are giving me so much hope!

Did your Brownie troop leader know that kelpies eat people? Because I can’t decide if she was awesome and subversive, or just uninformed.

I know! I voted for kelpies just because I know they trick people into going for a ride just so they can drown and eat them, and I feel that it is VITAL INFORMATION. Anyone who doesn’t vote for them is a low-information voter! I think Hazel Cills is rigging this election by that information out. FAKE NEWS!

I’m thinking about all the people who can’t get out, and the fact that Rush Limbaugh was able to evacuate (from this totally! fake! storm), and I’ve come to realize that if his house isn’t destroyed, I’m going to be pretty disappointed. Obviously, wish #1 is that somehow, miraculously, Irma misses Florida and…

I came down to the comments just to make sure somebody posted this.

My cousin’s daughter does that with her hands when she’s excited! I’m going to be sooooo sad when she outgrows it.

Reminds me of the old days in high school during football season, when we would paint our school’s initials on our cheeks before games. Lots of people had a friend do it, but there was always one person who did it in the mirror and got the letters backwards. My solution was to write the initials on a slip of paper,…

My talent caps out at stick figures, so I’m not sure . . . also I’d have to come up with clever dialogue.

You beat me to it! I would definitely prefer that men ask outright, because then I will know that there will be no more dates.