I knew I recognized that guy

The problem is Houston just controlled the pace and lost in 6 anyway. And they are much better.

Not that I’m a Houston stan (rather the opposite), but if we’re talking about regular-season results, the Rockets went 3-1 against the Warriors and finished with the exact same 53-29 record as the Blazers, so I don’t quite understand where you’re getting “a worse team than Portland” from. And Houston lost to the…

If the deputy understood 5 syllable words, he would be in another line of work.

Rule of thumb: If you can’t afford a new Rolls-Royce, you can’t afford a Rolls-Royce. An acquaintance of mine found out the hard way.

To me it looked like he was starting to stumble and just launched himself with the last somewhat decent step that was left in his legs that were failing him. (Disclaimer: Last time I ran in a track meet was in the 8th grade, so I don’t know shit.)

Infinite Tucker is the Fox News segment I could really do without.

The other day I thought I’d woken up on third base but really I’d just fallen asleep next to my roommate’s calzone.

The female needs to be outed, too. I believe she was a private schooler in the Vegas area, according to a response to one of the tweets.

Waking up on second? That’s nothing. Donald Trump was born on third base, and thinks he hit a triple.

My favorite Vin Scully line from when he first came up with the Dodgers: “Dee Gordon is so fast that when he wakes up in the morning he’s already on second base.”

You haven’t seen my grandma.

These are the actions of an abuser. Here’s how: Abuse is about manipulation of power and control. Here he is, being a “concerned” parent to show up at school to pick up his kids, even though, based on what is being reported, he should not. He’s trying to publicly show that he is a responsible parent. It situations…

Zach Smith looks like a guy who tells his friends, “I know they have to act like that, but that stripper was definitely into me.”

Courtney Smith was also at the school to pick up the kids, and Zach “was not to pick up their children until after 6 p.m.,” presumably not from the school.

I know plenty of Bucks fans and no Celtics fans.  This may have something to do with the fact that I live in Wisconsin, but then again I have the ability to recognize that my personal experience may not be global truth.

Absolutely nailed it with the line changing analogy; it’s the first thing I thought of during the replay at the time it happened. There’s no difference between the two scenarios.

I pine for a few weeks ago when some people suggested all those first-round upsets were “bad for the NHL.” Just had to wait for a half-dozen byzantine rule fuckups in elimination games to remind us again that this league will step on its own dick every time.

No. They are called Baby Boomers and are very much alive and won’t shut up about how great they are.

Psssst... internet. I just turned 50 two weeks ago and would settle for $25 million. No need to tell Wife on Mars.