We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

ghosts

It overshadowed a great night by the Rangers’ Sam Dyson, who instead of vacuuming away threats from the Red Sox in a hold situation, gave up 4 hits, 5 runs, and 3 walks without retiring a batter. He had to pitch well for about a month to get his ERA under 20, and then under 10, now it’s back up to 12.

No matter our baseball allegiances, I’m glad we can all agree that Chris Sale is an asshole.

The Cardinals lost their 20th game.

Washington Continues Use Of Extraordinary Rendontion Upon Non-Nationals

So let me make sure I have this straight, Ramos is mad because Cabrera celebrated hitting a three run walk-off in the eleventh inning that turned a likely loss into a win. There are very few more exciting things a hitter can do, and Ramos could have prevented it by pitching better. But Ramos feels Cabrera is the…

“At the end of the day, we just couldn’t walk away from mutual alliteration.”

—Buffalo Bills Personnel Person on sudden signing of Tyrod Taylor

The idea that there could be some kind of shadow presidency going on out of Joe Biden’s garage/ rumpus room, with grilling in the backyard 24/7 warms my heart.

It was almost worth it just to hear Roger Goodell booed so loudly that the mic couldn’t pick up anything he said. Almost.

Steve Bannon looks like every description of Wilbur Whately from HP Lovecrafts “The Dunwich Horror.”

Travis Kelce does elaborate dances after touchdowns, makes jerking off motions toward refs on the field, gets a stupid unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after dropping an important pass in a playoff game, and has his own reality show in which women compete for the chance to date him. Yet somehow he doesn’t get half the…

I feel like Barry started out with a nautical metaphor and couldn’t find a decent place to lay it to rest, to the point where eventually it became an albatross around his neck.

I know the PERFECT man for the job.

I think it’s kind of sad how he sidelined his own best judgment in deference to a figure of authority, an authority whose own judgment is not to be questioned, and it cost him his own better interests while only furthering the narrow interests of the organization that authority represents.

5 yards rushing in a half of professional football. That is a grim statistic for Jacksonville. I don’t even see how it’s possible