going high hasn’t worked for us since what - 2000? i am sick of it. i am sick of us having to be the reasonable, rational ones. fuck all of that. they go low and they win. they go low and they obstruct a president for an entire 8 years. it is time to go low.

Well that doesn’t necessarily get at the issue. After all, in the Conan tradition, male heroes are quite often absurdly muscle bound and lightly clothed. Nudity isn’t the enemy in and of itself. It’s more complicated.

“I want to destroy you for your own good. Why can’t you see that, you ungrateful little shit that I effectively disowned.”

I think he will settle also because there could be serious implications if it was found that he lied under oath at any time throughout the trial. That was why Clinton was impeached--he lied under oath about an unrelated civil suit.

What about those of us who have been shitting plenty, but they aren’t good poos? They’re all sludgy and leave you feeling gross rather than invigorated, which is how a poo SHOULD make you feel.

My parents voted for Trump. I have cerebral palsy and the image of Trump mocking the disabled reporter is forever burned into my brain. I feel so...meaningless to my parents. They don’t care if someone makes fun of me or if I have healthcare. I’ve never felt so worthless in my life.

I tried falling asleep at 10:00 after crying for a while. Managed to wake up at 12:00, saw the results, and cried some more.

ETA DISMISS THE TROLLS

Look, I am not going to lie—that sounds bad. On the bright side, though...no President Trump.

To be fair, Disney has always been a tighter run organization than the FBI.

that cold hearted bitch.

Well sure, if you don’t consider skim milk in your tea while curled up to The Good Wife criminal...

I refuse (almost always) to use self-checkout lanes because they turn the customer into a scab. Bagging groceries, scanning groceries ... that’s a job.

I just spit my John Daily all over my computer screen.

“PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA”

Well that judge just earned himself a pay raise.

Man Shoves Special Needs Kid, Is Racist, Is Not Charged With A Crime

You know, his license plate kind reads like “Balls Stew”. If I were to define that, it’s sort of a more advanced level tea bagging.