He was smart and versatile at Liverpool under Rodgers too, but the English public was never going to give a small, black, speedy winger credit for that—they were just going to assume he was a one-dimensional glory boy. Rodgers played him on both wings and even up the center as a classic 9 in a few games, and I was…

This is not the official video. The official video is hosted at a site whose name is only a couple of letters off from Deadspin.

The inevitable incoherent Billy Haisley article 2 days after something awesome happened is the death knell for my interest in it.

By his own admission, he wasn’t watching soccer back then.

Yeah, I don’t get this article. They showed the replay on every broadcast and even if you weren’t sure about the rule, you could infer it from the fact that they linger on the freeze-frame right as Bernardo Silva has his toe on the ball. Obviously that’s the crucial point that determines whether Agüero was offsides or…

I thought the squeeze play had fallen out of favor lately?

It’s good that one of Deadspin’s soccer writers caught this. I have a feeling the other one missed it because he’s midway through a 5,000-word paean to Gerard Deulofeu after he did something good today.

In soccer, the existence of yellow and red cards presents a big disincentive to commit obvious tactical fouls. These days, you’re almost automatically yellow-carded for a tactical foul, and no one player can pick up two of those in one match or they’re tossed. But you can’t strategically spread intentional fouls among…

On which part of the replay does it look like the ball touched him?

I went to a used car dealership in Phoenix recently to look at a car that was presented as a “Honda Certified” CPO. Not only did the car not show up on Honda’s list of CPO vehicles in the area, all the mileage on the sticker, the web listings, the CPO paperwork, the dealer offer, etc., read 5900. The car had 6800…

Please. Serena’s incident was not in any way a “meltdown,” “collapse,” “choke job after going up a break and then throwing it away,” or “moment of barely believable selfishness that distracted from the fact that she was getting run off the court by her young, rising-star opponent on the cusp of a thoroughly impressive…

involved Jensen anally penetrating them with his fingers

Say, why do French people make such small omelettes?

It was also such a good match up until the point where Serena unraveled. Osaka was better, but not by so much that winning was going to be an embarrassment for Serena. But then, a great athletic contest doesn’t make for much of a story to most people, so of course that’s being overshadowed. Even the counter-takes…

This has nothing to do with the content of the article, but am I missing some reference for why you’re using the form where you start sentences with an adverb? “Probably you are going to want to remember the name”, “Possibly he is also a comic book superhero”, “Possibly T.J. Vasher is Inspector Gadget”, etc.?

I’ll see that and raise you Gregory Coupet, 2001:

Prediction: over his first few months, he’ll flail at, or inadequately punch, a few crosses. Maybe a few of these will lead to goals for the opposition. British pundits, ready to pounce, will get on one of their favorite hobbyhorses, which is complaining about the dainty foreign goalkeeper who is weak in the air.…

Yes I know he was unsighted, but he kind of shuffled toward each shot and gave up long before they were by him. He was leaning the wrong way on each of the last two, and on the first one—which I know was an OG, not easy to read or predict because you’re not expecting it—it was literally within reach but he didn’t go…

I prefer “a right pig’s ear.”