I disowned the entire New Jersey branch of my family.

I could have sex with a conservative woman but only from behind.

All Navy Seals, Special Forces, Green Berets, and SWAT officers should be cross-trained as social studies and home-ec teachers.

Please permit me to apologize for all the people who are stupid and inferior to your estimable polymath mentality.

Why does it hurt that people are dumb? Do you not count yourself as one of the people or are you a liberal elitist college philosopher? Maybe you should take drugs to kill the hurt.

Yeah, you’re still a mess even though Obama’s gone but cheer up, you’ll always have Russia.

Elon Musk shows real emotion when appropriate. When he heard that some surviving Apollo astronauts had said that SpaceX was a waste he was almost in tears. Other criticisms have also visibly affected him.

Maybe she can get a job with Trump’s Evangelical Protection Agency.

Street fight? Oh, yeah, Bannon, you quantum of cholesterol — you wouldn’t last two minutes.

Would you let her marry your sister?