Did Sam get Rhonda pregnant?

I've believed it since Michelle Johnson in "Blame it on Rio" and her subsequent disappearance.

The Fuckwad of Fyre Festival.

It's the only way to go into a Marshall's.

Smoo!

That's a question I've learned not to answer.

Finally, I can ash while I shit without fear of a pube fire.

"Nobody's gay for The Human Torch…"

I saw that and was like, "Wait, I really missed something!"

Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Another fucking movie about Spider-Man!

Never unload your "Viva Laughlin" stock.

Is there any way to view the live season?

No, baby selling is lucrative, but you keep a real tight circle.

If what Madonna says about Pippen is true, no small task.

There's a funny story about 10 year old me finding some high schoolers ID card, and grabbing a deal of baking soda to cut lines on the coffee table… in the middle of a date my dad was having.

Ok, here's one, of a "kids today" nature… what happened to knocking? Like a dozen times, home alone, taking a shit, I hear the door open, and some six year old in my living room. What the hell?

You can teach a kid to make a martini, it's getting the clerk to sell to them that's tricky.

No, gotta dodge those toonies.

Canadian strippers are more enthusiastic, anyways.

If you can wrap a burrito without getting it all over your hands, you can do the same with 99% of diapers.