I guess Sardineland wasn't the roaring international success everyone thought it would be.

...or when you want to loan your phone to someone else for a few minutes and don't want potentially embarrassing text messages from your girlfriend to show up while they're using it. Not that this has ever happened to me.

Brilliantly misleading headline.

Yet another reason to adopt the indoor, basement-dwelling lifestyle of the contemporary geek.

Why be so lazy? The second one is there so you can contribute in a small way to their OCR text-scanning project.

I like the tiny lunchbox-size sandwich in the corner, for size comparison. It looks like it's cowering.

I suspect the networks feel this is somehow a breach of their contract with Dish. They might even be right — I seem to recall TiVo having this feature early on, and removing it voluntarily, so any network out there would be able to see it coming.

This looks like it was invented by those dwarfs from "Oglaf."

Yes, they're also good at harpooning cars off the street and dropping them into abandoned warehouses.

That's pretty much it, yes.

It's a type of beer, very bitter and popular among foodies.

Well, we could always go back to ads featuring pin-ups that are obviously painted, which in some ways I've always preferred. For one thing, they have bigger boobs.

Attention Gizmodo: by your own admission, you're not objective. [gizmodo.com] So please stop using the word "objectively" in your stories. It was only clever the first time.

Then why, oh why, do you keep using the word "objectively" in your headlines?

Sorry, I copied it from someone else's Tumblr.

"It's almost certainly the case that such technology would never appear in computers or tablets." Says it right there at the bottom.

At least dead puppies are still legal.

And that's why rocket science is best left to rocket scientists.

"Has anyone considered that the flesh eating bacteria was the target of the theft?"

Video needs more "whoosh" noises.