“...searching for a Class ABC extinguisher will yield one appropriate for dowsing your new Pixel 2.”

#TeamKillerMike (not because Nina Turner, but because NOT Oprah)

“I’ve always wanted to know, because I’m a white person, how to reach into the inner city without getting shot.”

This Roseanne episode sucks.

Hey, that poster was campaigining hard. The Ross Perot Award for Winning Over Communities Not Like Yours ain’t gonna give itself away!

I’m all in for GB in 2020.

I prefer “Western Kremlin”!

I moved on the Justice Department like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. It had all those checks and balances. Then all of a sudden I see lady justice, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.

From the headline I figured this was a mis-post from the Onion. Sad to say, I was wrong.

In other news: the President denigrated Canadians for having weird-looking “flappy heads,” and being unable to pronounce “about.” When asked whether ginger-haired kids possess souls, he declined to respond directly.

Republicans are doing a lot of things. The one they they’re not doing is disputing any of the allegations.

The vast majority of white voters voted for Trump-Pence. So, I am doing what white America has always done and am blaming all of you for it. It’s funny how angry/confused you guys get when you are trated like everyone else

Trashy industry is trashy

That’s literally the first thing I tell him (just in a less ultimatum-y “this is how it needs to be or else” way). Then I offer some other approaches in case he’s still willing to try and make things work.

What I and other people who are not Americans see:

When ur crushin on that special girl and want her to know it but ur playin coy.

I am humbled by their bravery.

Come one, come all, to GlitterBomb’s Wacky Wooden Chopping Guillotine Warehouse and Emporium! We’re grossly overstocked on Wacky Wooden Chopping Guillotines and now were passing the savings on to youuuuuuu!