Jesus fucking Christ. Okay so,, I am BLASTED right now (I somehow got convinced to chug a whole fucking pitcher of Bud Light, which like why the fuck am I able to be convinced to do such a thing when im 29 years fucking old but whatever), so Iam just gonna stream of conscious this, which I feel like I am already…

War criminal. Fuck him.

At this point, Russian connections are to the GOP what secret Cylons are to Battlestar Galactica...

Yeah, reading that one made my soul feel greasy and at this point I am basically a burned-out mannequin digging through the news ashes to figure what I have left to be forcibly removed.

Oh, my pleasure! Here’s a bonus round.

insurance companies may no longer be required to cover prenatal care, maternity and newborn care, mental health, prescription drugs, emergency visits, hospitalization, outpatient care, preventative care, and more.

Maximum Comboverdrive.

My favorite Tweet so far...

This remake of Stephen King’s Trucks we’re living in fucking sucks. The villain is way less believable.

The Republican party will never, EVER, impeach Trump. Look at how over half of them were part of the “never Trump” campaign throughout the primary and are now kissing the ring and sucking the emperor’s dick.

“Big day for healthcare!”

Yes, but is the tie made of silk or .... lenin?

according to sean spicer, rex only visits russia when he needs help putin on his necktie:

“If you look around the table and can’t tell who the mark is, get up and leave, because you’re the mark.”

Yes, you fucking jackass. That’s EXACTLY what I’m saying.

WHY DONT YOU BUY A GODDAMNED WHEELCHAIR AND PUT ME IN IT

His MBA stands for Meat Basting Assistant.