Unfortunately for the farmer, the John Deere technician is going to have to come out to train the computer to recognize the new replacement windshield.

The dispatcher is in fact acting as a agent for Amazon, so the story and headline are completely valid.

No, sails don’t fall into the ocean when the wind dies to become several hundred pounds of wet nonsense you have to deal with.

I’m not dead! I’m not gone! Jeezis, Rory, you scared me and I had to check my pulse. Also, I ave mentioned this amazing cam system before, but I’m glad to see it getting its own post. https://jalopnik.com/were-finally-entering-the-age-of-fun-animated-lighting-1847609520

Is it weird that I want them to just erase everything after I die?

Unfortunately, as I’m sure you’ve heard, Jason is no longer around to tell you anything about it

Let he who hasn’t drunkenly crashed a plane into a front yard cast the first stone.

Oh boy are you about to be disappointed. Not only have I now written about counterweights, but I’ve also written about blue anodized wheel cylinders:

This looks like it drives just wonderfully.

My face as I read this:

Correct

In another life I would come back as either an agent, manager or publicist and make an utter killing based on a patent pending piece of publicity perfection: Duct Tape. Before I would allow any of my clients the ability to leave their homes, duct tape. Right across the mouths. I may also take away their cell phones…

Maybe if you rode the bus, you wouldn't have turned into such an asshole adult.

xenon ion thruster engine.

Sir! Sir!

We don’t want to cause any more accidents.

Don’t ever change, Torch. 

Innovative placement of the rear door handle there...

If you’re old enough/judged responsible enough to drive a vehicle on public roads, you’re old enough/responsible enough to face adult charges for vehicular crimes.

This is like people stopping at the top of an escalator while they decide which way to go.