The thing I’m most outraged by is that she MISSED A PIECE!!! IS THIS NOT INCLUDED IN HAIRSTYLING 101???

Beyonce is a piece of garbage who uses feminism as a marketing ploy.

1. Capitalize all your “I”s and clean up your grammar. The word is “premise”, not “premises” for Gotham. Poor grammar with this type of thing will turn off a lot of women. It looks like you just dashed it off without caring.
   

“My closest adviser is my wife. It’s nice to have one of the smartest people in business as your life partner, and someone you have dinner with and breakfast with.”

I’ve always been of the school of thought that “drink in face” = insult, “bottle” = hate crime. Ya can’t just hit folks with Coke bottles. It can cause brain damage and shit.

His best work was in MTV’s “Remote Control.” Am I right, oldsters?

I’m a gay dude, but...I kind of feel like “X-Now with Girls!” is patronizing and lazy. Like, that women need their own version of something but also that women aren’t deserving of or capable of producing their own original content but have to gender-flip the male version (which is of course the default version).

Since we all might need a slightly happier tale, here’s a great response teachers can have when alerted to this, via a PE coach I had in sixth grade. I switched schools halfway through the year to escape bullying, and on my first day at the new one I was trying not to make waves. During PE I was just kind of hanging…

It’s hard for me to watch American Idol because there’s a waterbug on my channel changer.

I like girls who wear A&F, Chinese food still makes me sick.

Rest in Peace, Harris Wittels, comic genius.

On my income? It would have to be a whoopee cushion duct-taped to a slap bracelet with a sundial drawn on it.

I thought it was only a couple of years ago, but I just looked at my photos and it was 2009. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO???? She was also doing the trapeze stuff on that tour - it was the first time I’d seen her do it - and I thought that was more recent, but I guess not.

Right, she’s a bitch. Because she didn’t kowtow to his ridiculous and petty demands and took her daughter to an age appropriate concert with adult supervision. I guess she should call him and beg for permission every time she wants to take her daughter out for a hike, or to go see a PG movie too, right?

I really just want to know who these people are that need another Full House series. Seriously, who are you?

Sure Aunt Becky, i’m sure Elizabeth will look forward to taking a break from that whole epic action comic book blockbuster series guaranteed to make millions to take part in your shitty remake of a bland dull TV series from the 90s that most people forgot existed until Scott Baoi announced the remake as part of…

Rights aren’t a zero sum game, you ass.

Crazy Ira and the Douche.

I hate dresses like this. I have CURVES. Unless that shit is fitted at the waist, get it the fuck outta my face.

Since when is “dipping something out” a proper term? “Dipping” alone implies putting something into something just a little and quickly; scooping is taking something out.

This makes no sense and I do not accept your regionalism.