i got some terra cotta lipstick the other day. amazing how well it works!!

When there’s only one toilet for a large captive audience (airplane, sushi restaurant) then the proper sequence of events is thus:

I want to apologize for my behavior last weekend — for not being more careful and candid in how I described the events of that early morning and for my role in taking the focus away from the many athletes fulfilling their dreams of participating in the Olympics. being a lying liar who lies. Sometimes I forget regular…

Yep! From the original: “They took the glass away as evidence.”

Why do we keep trying to make Blake Lively happen? SHE’S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

I can only deal with them on special occasions where a bra won’t work but I need to resolve the nipple issue. One of my least favorite drunken late night activities is peeling adhesive nipple covers off my boobs at 2am. It is the least sexy removal of an undergarment in the history of mankind.

No, but I did just get one of the new Sephora Rouge Balm SPF 20 lipsticks on a whim, and I’m, like, ridiculously surprised at how good it is. It has all the upsides of a very good lip balm with all the upsides of a very good lipstick and none of the downsides of either (unless you count the color coming off on your…

I always think of Garrett Hedlund as a Forever 21 knockoff of Chris Hemworth.

My favorite work in the Heigl oeuvre is probably the 1996 TV film Wish Upon a Star.

“I don’t want her to grow up in a world where she is made to feel less-than for embracing everything it means to be a woman.”

Before people start in on knowing how much they make before I made it my major, shut the fuck up.

"I know that astrology isn't a science... Of course it isn't. It's just an arbitrary set of rules like chess or tennis.... The rules just kind of got there. They don't make any kind of sense except in terms of themselves. But when you start to exercise those rules, all sorts of processes start to happen and you start…