I know, you’d think they’d blow up a section of highway so it would have to jump a 50 foot gap. That would be awesome.

Yeah. THEY’RE the idiots.

I bet Lochte was pissed.

It would be really shallow and unfair of me to lose all sympathy for her plight and belief in her innocence based solely on her boyfriend’s fashion choices, right?

maybe she killed his fashion sense 🤔

So did Amanda earn that letterman's jacket from the School of Hard Knox?

If he doesn’t want to get hit in the head, maybe he shouldn’t wear a helmet. He’s just asking for it when he’s dressed like that.

Lando Cali-risingagain oh Jesus, I’m so sorry, this sounded so much better in my head

Well, looks like it’s time to reset the “Days Since We Shit on the MLS” incident counter.

He’s due.

#Bearlygoingtowin5games

Who the hell are the Chargers?

I bet he and Cuthbert Chelsor on the Royals get along well.

When the GOP primary was actually contested, Trump got a bigger percentage of the vote in Massachusetts than any other state, until his home state.

“Your job’s a joke, you’re broke”

That's bullshit—it obviously turned the tide of momentum towards Illinois.

I’M JUST SO FUCKIN’ PUMPED FOR A PLAYER THAT HITS .277 IN DOUBLE-A!!!

You guys are gonna get Michael J. Fox fired in his first week at his new job.

The glorious thing is, none of us has to watch any of it.

“I like to bet on horses, I like to bet on dogs,” Sager told the Associated Press. “I’ve bet on a lot of things with a lot higher odds than this.”