“And if I resign, it will take no more than 15 seconds!”

He’s a baseball player, which means he’s a moron. I approach all baseball players with the expectation they’re going to hold opinions I loathe, since they’re all dumb.

Yeah, I think there’s a big difference between Scalia furiously masturbating at the thought of eliminating all gay rights, and Murphy shrugging and saying something to the effect of, “Since you asked, my pastor says gays are bad, so I guess gays are bad.”

My six year-old woke up this morning and put the game on DVR (having been made to go to bed long before it ended cuz it was a school night). A while later, as his mother was yelling at him (ok, me) to turn the tv off and get dressed, he asked if we could just “fast forward to the part where Murphy hits a home run.” I…

This. Also, wasn’t he outright asked about the subject directly? It’s not like the guys stepping up on a pedestal and spewing hate whenever he can.

“Raging homophobe” is a bit strong. From what he’s said on the subject, he’s got the very wrong-headed but much more understandable “Love the sinner, hate the sin” perspective that a lot of people have when they were raised very, very Christian.

Jim Abbot: [light bulb appears above head]

Murphy is the GOAT

I am sure Kendrick would like to refute the verdict on the quality of the pitches he swung at, but unfortunately, Jeurys out.

At least Jon Niese finally found a way to contribute this postseason.

I believe the LDS is limited to hot chocolate.

Where have you gone, Oddibe McDowell?

It’s nice to see that this type of unacceptable fan behavior is being properly dealt with. There’s nothing worse than seeing some bandwagon fan with first row seats sleeping through half the game.

“Community came together to save the team” is a funny way of saying how a city allowed itself to be fleeced to benefit a billionaire.

Couple bucks?

You went to Best Buy? There’s your mistake. Should have gone to the outlet mall in Ogdenville. Could have got a genuine SORNY.

“Just like my car!”- Matt Harvey, 10/7/15

My daily fantasy consists of both of these companies going away.

Well, colour me surprised.

Weird. Back-to-back stories about farting hot dogs.