“Also my mic was bad. And the Chinese invented global warming.”

You’d think he’d have the good sense to not “just start kissing” the word “women” on that sign. You’d be wrong.

What time is this on Univision?

Seems fitting. Raging asshole enjoys a big glass of milk. But when I drink a big glass of milk I get a raging asshole. Thanks, lactose!

When contacted for comment, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred said that as far as selling the bat on ebay goes, it’s not really the money he objects to, it’s the imposition of administrative requirements in terms of keeping track of packing and shipping. A young player wants to take on an extra chance to make some cash? Is…

“It’s called EXTREME PETTING.”--Donald J. Trump

I’m just going to leave this here:

Please stop with the scary clown mask pictures!

SURE, but try and use the argument in reverse and let me tell you, doesn’t fly so well with a spouse.

So when I perfect my time machine, I’m definitely not sending Tyson because he will just take a nap on Baby Hitler’s couch. Thanks, Iron Mike.

Mets-Red Sox, only this time the dribbler goes through Duda’s legs oh God please no don’t let that happen.

+1 gnomish templar*

Sure but when I DO IT .... 

Fuck Pete Ricketts with Donald Trump’s orange cheeto dick and a lube made from the ball sweat, saliva, and spilled Budweiser foam of the ghost of Harry Caray.

You left out a few:

Bumbaclot!

Coincidentally enough, this weekend I’m heading from Intercourse through Short Pump to Climax. Not leaving town, though.

Their bromance name is Putinrump. Because if this asshole is elected, we are all fucked.

Sorry to break it to you, but don't hold out hope for the thousand yard hike.

Want to see a badass dinosaur?