The Department of Very Important Basketball People is responsible for recruiting North Korea's Olympic Team.

very dumb, but kind of mature.

No flowers require work — vase, water, they eventually have to be disposed of. This woman hasn't slept. If anything, bring food. Preferably food that can be frozen and eaten with one hand.

As a relatively new parent, I know what they want. A gift card to babies r us. It may feel impersonal, but they don't know what the fuck they need and they'll be grateful later.

Theater recommendation DUAN:

Pretty much the worst thing that could happen to boxing right now.

He may be the first DHOF electee to show up at Gawker headquarters expecting to actually see his plaque.

I will send you a dummy lede if the occasion arises.

Ha!

No we will blame it on Kris Joseph, who I have crafted in my mind to be something he is simply not.

They are comparable, but Jim Brown versus OJ tilts the misery scale toward buffalo.

Little known fact: Roland Emmerich has no genitals.

If we have learned anything from Modern Family, and we have, it is that he holidays will end with everyone appreciating each other and their differences and we will never have to see the gay guys kiss.

Replying to Iron Mike here, 34 years of being a Bills fan has made me an unconscionable asshole. Kind of like people who eat on subways or believe Shakespeare didn't write the plays.

By the way, Syracuse is really good and will absolutely lose in the sweet sixteen. Fuck sports.

This NJ Transit train I'm on may be the 9th circle of hell.

This is kind of like the Sinatra Duets album where he calls Jimmy Buffet "Jerry".

Here is the perfect gift for people who have an opinion about Tim Conway:

+1

Not a huge fan of the Exiles reissue, probably because I love that album so much. This is much better, and I was nervous going in.