Oh man, you didn’t check in to see how this insane stretch of a nothing-burger was getting roasted over at The Root? Cause it’s getting no traction there, and it feels like their readership should know.

“At that age [19], teenagers are mature enough to know what they’re being part of.”

See? Even a Cadillac looks like a Cavalier next to those things!

Doesn’t that motor have enough torque to pull like 11 of those Kias? Which is just enough torque - it’s glorious.

This is the ugliest thing out of BMW literally ever.

I believe the official BMW styling theme is "butterface."

“an eye-catching presence”

I’ll take the Alpina. 

I don’t know how long it will take, but eventually these ugly schoolbuses will be as mocked, maligned, and uncool as traditional minvans are now because THEY ARE THE SAME DAMN THING.

This level of performance is exactly what I need as I race to snag that last spot in the parking lot at my local Whole Foods.

You can’t tell me that is not a minivan that they left the sliding doors off of.

“That Pedo-bot had it coming.”-Elon Musk

Located in Houston $15,000

How is the current pandemic impacting the affordability for your average dentist?

...

I would feel I was sitting in a tray of pull-apart buns every time I drove it.

It’s not like they’re the person who is driving them. 

Hi, I’m that guy. I’m also in charge of selling them when they’re done. It’s not so bad. There’re some perks involved.