Neutral: the EV1. Imagine if General Motors had gone all-in on that program back in the early 2000s, maybe even dedicated Saturn as the electric brand. They’d have been where Tesla is now with EV drivetrain development ten years ago.

No one seems to have picked up (get it?) on those two little words: “Camper Special.” Heavy-duty springs, extra-large radiator and brakes, and some other goodies specifically to use it with a slide-in camper. Put a modern camper in the bed, and it’s still got the capacity to tow a boat or some other small trailer.…

If I had to guess, they’re probably vinyl graphics with the fade airbrushed on.

BMWho? Oh, right. They used to make cars, didn’t they?

Sounds great... as long as the batteries don’t overheat. Because then you’d have a Fuego, and that’s still something no one wants.

None. Zip. Nada, if you will.

Also, they welcome passengers who have just landed with a heartfelt “Hi!”

When I was 14, my uncle Bill drove me out into the middle of a field in a Jeep, showed me which pedal was which, and walked away. That was 34 years ago. I’ve hated automatics ever since.

Dinosaur turns into crude oil which is refined to make diesel to power an excavator painted to look like a dinosaur.

I think I’d lean towards the Spark, all things being equal, but a screaming deal on a Mirage could change my mind.

My dad always said GM did it backwards: if they had made the body out of aluminum and the motor out of iron instead of the other way around, it would have been fine...

I always had a soft spot for these, and it’s a reminder that there should always be a sporty-looking 2-door variant of a mundane family car available, no matter what that mundane family car is. But nine grand? You kidding?

I’m pissed off because tomorrow is my birthday. I already dislike this time of year because there are already a bunch of bad personal memories/anniversaries right around now, and then these fucking yahoos have to go and pull this bullshit, ruin whatever chance I might have had at being in a halfway decent mood…

Ahem...

Mine are all NIB old plastic model kits or ‘80s RC cars. Here’s an article I wrote ove at DriveTribe with a few photos...

No gated shifter = no dice. Who wants a Ferrari with a shift boot that looks just like the one in a Triumph Spitfire? Might as well be an automatic.

Wait - so what is Red Forman’s dad trying to tell us here? It’s Ok if you’re a dick to people as long as you’re not driving? I’m confused...

I don’t dislike it... exactly... but my first gut reaction is “lawn tractor.” Paint it yellow, and you’ll have Cub Cadet after you...

It’s a stupid ad anyway; all I see is “Remember how cool we used to be? Well, forget it - now we make crap like this.”

The MG gets washed and polished up before every event I take it to, so a few times a summer. I wash my wife’s car when it gets dirty enough for her to ask me to do it. But it’s silver, so it hides dirt pretty well. Her last car was navy blue, and that showed dirt a lot better.