Quad-round pop-ups. Gated shifter. Cromodoras. Magnum P.I. engine noises. Actually cheaper than some other “classics” I like a lot less. Hell yes!

“A little snug in back...” That’s putting it mildly. I think Camaros and Firebirds are the reason “calling shotgun” became a thing...

Four words: Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport Wagon.

In 2012, I drove a rental Vauxhall Corsa all over the UK. In 2017, I rented a Renault Clio in Ireland. In both cases, I had the same thought: “Why can’t I get something like this in America? Tiny, simple, 5 speed manual, 4 door hatch that’s light and nimble and kinda fun despite being low on power.”

Someone’s too young to remember Dodge recycling the Challenger nameplate onto a captive import Mitsubishi, and the Charger onto a 2-door Omni...

Honestly, I’d call that a problem with all the other cars built since this one. 114 hp is probably enough for this car, but “enough” isn’t the baseline anymore, not with every soccer-mom crossover rocking 300 horsepower. No one needs a grocery-getter that can do 0-60 in six seconds flat, but for some reason they all…

Meh. I already have an old Forest Service truck.

Because some of us learned how to drive on dirt roads in a 4-speed manual Jeep Scrambler, and ever since then no automatic has ever “felt” right, on or off road.

My dad has a scary anecdote that he brings out any time the subject of plane crashes comes up: the DC-10 that crashed in Chicago in 1979 when an engine fell off the wing? He was on that same flight, in that same plane, the day before.

INT - SPACE SHIP BRIDGE - NIGHT

The PILOT sits at a console, playing a game on a handheld device. Suddenly, a YELLOW LIGHT illuminates on the console.

PILOT
Oh, no... (pushes intercom button) Commander, you’d better get up here.

COMMANDER (v/o, on intercom)
Is it the check engine light again?

PILOT
Yes, sir. It just —

Cut…

Now THAT should be the available color palette...

I have this tendency to look at new car tech with an eye towards how well it will still function 20 years/200,000 miles later. Probably because I only buy cheap old cars. And since I can’t bear the thought of ever making another car payment in my life, I’m going to keep buying cheap beaters, so any new car now will be…

I love the color combination. And I appreciate that it’s a stick. But that’s it.

With regard to cars, the malaise started creeping in a few years earlier, with a couple waves of regulations that slowly sucked all the joy out of cars for a while. Emissions controls, 5 mph bumpers, proposed rollover crash standards (which didn’t happen, but are the reason there are no convertibles from the late…

Tell me you can get a 2-door with steelies and a manual, in some other color than black, white, or gray. Nothing else really concerns me.

This is absolutely what’s missing from the car market today: a sense of fun. I mean, yeah, that Pinto had like 70 horsepower and a spaghetti bowl of vacuum lines under the hood, and it probably vapor-locked whenever the ambient temperature was above 80 degrees, but damn if it doesn’t look like fun. Makes you want to…

Actually, it depends on which 5 speed you mean: the NV3500 in the half-ton trucks has awful shifter feel. It’s kinda rubbery and vague, almost like a front wheel drive shifter. This has that “loose but solid” feel that I associate with old machinery: there’s some slop, but you know exactly when it’s in gear. I’ve…

Neutral: I got within shouting distance of finishing the re-wire job on my MGB (meaning, I should only need to shout at it a few more times next weekend to finish it up). Been working on it since before COVID began. After I finally put the steering wheel back on yesterday, I just sat there daydreaming for a while...

Sn ex-girlfriend of mine had one of these. Tremendous fun to drive, though be careful how vigorously you throw it into a corner... I think I came close to tipping it a couple of times. But on the gravel rural Wisconsin back roads leading to her parents’ place, it was a hoot. Good memories.

Memories of our family road trips from Illinois to Colorado when I was a kid... my mom would build a barricade of luggage in the middle of the back seat to keep my brother and me from fighting. And we usually had tiny cars: a Pinto wagon, a 2 door VW Dasher (diesel, no less), a Fiat 128 sedan. The “big” car was my…