I feel the same way. I tip around 25% though. I understand that fancy drinks are a pain in the ass to make, especially if they are froze , which I don't order. But if you don't want people to order something, don't put it on the menu. I can make myself a mixed drink at home, but I love fun cocktails.

If he was only four inches deep I would just let her have him. Four inches ain't worth the trouble.

Roquelaure*

I posted the whole story but it is lost somewhere in the grays...

The second one is definitely a premise for multiple country songs and romance novels.

my story also involves wildlife. But mid nature-romp we were interrupted by a bear.

When I was a teenager I went on a short vacation with my boyfriend's family to a beautiful lake where we all stayed in a one room cabin. In effort to find a secure place to bone we rented a canoe and paddled our horny teenage asses to the opposite shore of the lake. We proceeded to get down to business on the pine…

I decided I couldn't date a guy when I found out Macklemore and Eminem were his two favorite musicians. I SHUT IT DOWN.

WINNER, WINNER

That woman was me. Don't worry, I enjoyed the cheese.

On the first night of a cross country move from Washington D.C. to Colorado I was forced to stop in a torrential "wrath of god" style rainstorm in the shitty little town of St Clairesville, Ohio. Because I was traveling with my dog I was hard pressed to find any hotel that would allow us to spend the night and…

But seriously: have you ever worn a pair of Birkenstocks? As someone who loves to wear sandals every day of a much too brief summer and who destroys roughly one pair every three weeks, birks are a godsend. Because they really are mold to your feet comfortable, practical, and in my opinion not a beautiful shoe, but…

Dear god, my life would be complete if I could find this guy and then catfish the fuck out of him. Why are we not all catfishing him right now?! Stop whatever you're doing and help me locate him on OKCupid!

A few years ago I worked at a certain fondue restaurant that was popular with couples as it advertised as a nice place for a romantic dinner. One Friday night I was saddled with a couple who walked in five minutes before we were about to close. I was thankful that they only wanted the dessert fondue and not all four…

Is your house on fire, Clark?

I NEED THE SANTA ORNAMENT FOR MY TACKY TREE!

Long live multi colored lights with big bulbs! For the entirety of my childhhod my dad would decorate our house and ALL of the 15+ feet pine trees with colored lights, (dad=Clark Griswald, last true family man). When the snow would gather heavy on the trees, the multi colored glow through the snow was MAGICAL. The fam…

I am from Jackson, WY, (commonly known as Jackson Hole), and new home to carpetbagger Liz Cheney. I actually attend a friend's annual Winter Solstice party, and usually it is way too fucking cold to remove the articles of clothing necessary for a swingin' orgy. We celebrate because its only 5 more months until we…

I feel as though the most appropriate punishment for these little fuckwits is obviously to have their dicks dipped in acid. Overrreaction? Nah. Try raping someone with your sad melted mound of nerve endings now, boys! What's more is that there are probably a ton of people who would love to personally execute this…