...That sounds surreal and kind of freaky.

Totally off topic, but do those apps work well? Starbucks has one but I don’t totally get how it works so I have yet to use it.

I’d read that. (I mean, I read all your stuff on here, but that would be a really cool piece.)

You’ve never heard that said? I’ve seen that said on Pinkham’s articles almost every time. I feel like the rational response would be to go “Oh, I’m not being paid a living wage EITHER. Perhaps I should be in favor of this! Perhaps I should fight to be paid a living wage too!” but for some reason that’s never where…

I’m convinced Berman is actually an immortal wizard with a Satanic pact that grants him nigh-infinite longevity in exchange for constantly working to propagate evil upon the Earth. I think it’s a pretty solid working theory.

I don’t know if Bond movie technology is something that’s actually ever going to happen (I mean in some cases it’s realistic kind of but definitely not in all of them), but that would be pretty fucking cool.

I mean, it weirdly does happen? I don’t think that commonly, but for some reason it does happen. I’ve told this story before, but my sister used to work in a movie theater as an usher, and she found a gun left behind. She looked down the barrel to see if it was loaded because she’s never been trained in gun safety.
This…

I like you and normally I would find these funny, but this is really not a good context for them. Pretty insensitive. :\

Oh my god. That’s horrible.

You’re not being overly sentimental, this is fucked. He left a family and people who loved him behind. It’s not funny, it’s really sad.

Omg. I don’t find the meat dress very gross (it actually kind of looks cool now), but those recommended stories at the bottom are fucking GOLD.
I’ve got to say, I truly truly miss the horrific gross out stories that Mark used to post.

Sometimes I miss neopets.

That’s what I was wondering too. Terriers were like, bred to hunt rodents. Wouldn’t it kill/eat it’s pet?

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton.

I don’t know which one of them you’re talking about because of the way Kinja grabs pictures, but I think that applies to both their smiles here. :\

That’s pretty much how it goes whenever I try to do a cat eye :(

Because it’s such a boring song or what?

I want bionic lashes that will crawl onto my eyelids and perfectly place themselves without me having to do anything, because getting them in place can be a huge fucking pain sometimes.

I’m obvs not staff but I think that’s cute. Gizzy-Mizzy, too. I may steal those from you.

Usually I’m the same, but sometimes it’s fun to get like luxury things that you’re not going to use super often that last a long time.