It almost seems ableist - oddly coming from a guy in a wheelchair - to suggest that being fit and sporty means you have a shot at the Paralympics. Like Para is just the kiddie table to the real, adult Olympics and it takes nothing to get in.

filed charges of impeachment on? Shouldn’t it be against?

The real Qanon is the friends we made along the way.

I’m just here for the Canadian-on-Canadian violence. This has Don Cherry very excited.

I love this so much

I feel bad for her. Maybe I’ll send her a coupon for 20% off at the new baby restaurant I’ll be opening now that the coast is clear.

Okay, it’s Day 1, but I already have a crush on Jen Psaki.

She believes the confederate flag is the real American flag. That’s what her uncle-dad taught her.

• President Biden signed a shitton of executive orders already:

“As we enter into the next administration please remember all the friends and happy memories we made together over the past few years.”

Is the fifth child relegated to the kids table with the grandchildren? That’s fine, if that’s the plan. It would be wonderful if we never hear of him becasue he left his horrifying family and lived life as a productive adult.

My dad was bragging about how he’s arguing with all of our anti-mask extended family members on facebook, saying stuff like “my kid has a PhD in this stuff, so I’m going to listen to her!” I don’t have facebook, so I don’t see it, but good on him and thanks for the brag, dad.

I’m glad to see both of these shitstains gone but I will miss (1) the hilarious impressions of Don Jr and Eric on Weekend Update; and (2) Colbert’s imitation of Eric that always started with him forcing his upper lip up to expose his teeth and gums. As soon as he does that I start laughing like a loon.

I thought it was bizarre that they were sanitizing the podium after every speaker but fucking Garth Brooks was allowed to hug everyone?

I was in Trader Joe’s the other day, I was in line next to a woman who wasn’t covering her nose with her mask. I remember seeing an advice column (or cartoon) suggesting that if you wanted to confront somebody about mask wearing, instead of shaming, you should pretend that it’s probably something that the person…

Also, to all you qanon pissbabies

“You are amazing people,” President Trump said before a largely maskless crowd