Question: why do you keep impersonating Dr. Lizardo?

I was here on Jezebel, reading articles nonstop. I was just 16 years old. In my life, I felt helpless. I came to Saturday Night Social to post profanity-laden rants about the drama of my high school life. I was stuck pretending to be friends with people who clearly had no interest in being mine, and that fact made me…

I’m Canadian and your election is stressing me out.  

I turned in my ballot to a collection box the day I got it. I just couldn’t have it in my house. I don’t know what my strategy is this week. Try to ignore my phone? Glue myself to it? Sit outside and stare at the sky?

I mean this completely seriously, but how did you manage to stay with him after he voted for Trump? I can barely stand to be in the same room with a Trump supporter. I can’t imagine living with one or being intimate with one. 

I mean, I’m not saying I’m not going to stress-eat an entire plate of brownies between now and the end of the week, but I’m not NOT saying that either.

It’s still earlyish morning on the west coast. My one-eyed, nearly toothless cat is chowing down on my peanut butter waffle and ignoring the bacon next to it. I feel that this is a bad omen, but could possibly be a good one? I can’t tell anymore.

You be whatever you want. 

I lost faith in American voters after Sandy Hook.

“From the over half a million people who’ve now died of covid-19 in the United States”

“A police escort [wasn’t] able to catch up to the bus before it exited the city due to traffic.”

You described Trump dude.

Ok! Go!  Physics me daddy!

According to Trump and Fox, we’re weak, loser, apathetic snowflakes who are simultaneously also radical, violent, and and dangerous. We’re Schroedinger’s Political Party, cognitive dissonance be damned!

Way back in fourth grade, I sat next to a kid named Eric who spent all day picking his nose and then bedazzling his pencilbox with his boogers. I think of him every time I see Eric Trump’s name. 

Hopefully it’ll be because he’s too busy fleeing the country ahead of the FBI after losing on Tuesday.

If people won’t vote in their own self interest, then nothing can be done about that. If a single comment can turn off Biden voters while Trump acts like a rabid dog, then we deserve Trump.

Parenthood also affected me in a profound way. I struggled to get pregnant. I miscarried and had to take medicine to clear the products of conception. I got a little ovulation help from a fertility clinic, and I now I have 4 year old twins.

Person, woman, craven, feckless, vapid

That clip NEEDS to transition to keyboard cat. Could somebody please do that?