The NCAA can't erase what happened to those kids, but at least it can make us feel better by pretending that Joe Paterno didn't really win 111 games that he won.

"Roll through", I mean. A little less severe than running.

Seriously. If all he did was run a stop sign, why the hell did he consent to a search?

Because I have a "girl's" screen name? Maybe you should be Googling too.

Iron their girlfriends: http://www.nytimes.com/1997/11/19/spo…

Yeah, he needs to show more respect to guys who iron their girlfriends and repeatedly jeopardize the lives of other drivers.

a) I got this, and

He looks at least as Swedish as Joseph Patterson.

The plural is "beds-and-breakfasts."

Hard to believe a team is struggling with a 55-year-old rookie head coach who'd never spent one second in the NBA in any capacity.

If you keep your phone by your bed (assuming you're using it as an alarm clock), and don't put it in airplane mode, you deserve to be woken up with notifications all night.

If only there were a way for Deadspin Writer to determine #12's name.

the average CEO certainly doesn't work 774 times harder than the dude at Burger King

Jesus.

I have no reason to think she's dumb.

No response, other than to say that I wish that all Deadspin comments were of this caliber. I don't know why it's so hard for people to make a point, not instigate, and refrain from telling anyone who disagrees to "get bent, asshole" etc.

Love, Actual.

Can we stop referring to Janay as Ray's "then-fiancée"? Yes, I understand that if you parse the expression it means that they were engaged at the time and no longer are, which is technically true. But, obviously, the term implies that they split up. "Now-wife" eliminates a lot of ambiguity.

This year's worst six teams have an average winning percentage of 17.45 percent