Fuck Larry right in his ear.

That’s foul.

Well okay then.

I don’t even know what a waterhead is. I feel both good about that and also old.

“Looser...” what? Pants? Lips? Shoelaces???

That sounds like something that would happen to me.

I went to Target on Friday, and they still had all of the good Halloween candy left on clearance so I bought four giant bags of candy.

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Did you find your burner key?

Chicken Boo is woefully forgotten. Oh sure, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. You were the cool kids. Poor Chicken Boo.

It’s not a man, it’s a Chicken Boo!

When I was a teen/early 20s I would have given anything for Kate to be around.

My mother (85) and I have decided that the reason my daughter has so few friends is because her vocabulary is enormous, and also she’s Hermione Granger- like I was/am. It’s a curse that becomes a blessing in adulthood.

Oh God she so is. She’s 10 and weird (like her mom) and has almost no friends yet (like her mom at 10), and today I got to say to her- “Look at this woman. She makes serious money being her weird, awesome, incredibly smart self. Just be you.”

Our daughter came upon me watching last night’s SNL this morning. She’s a huge fan of the 2016 Ghostbusters. She had NO IDEA that Kate McKinnon was Hillary. She couldn’t see her in it. That’s how awesome Kate is. So I showed her this bit. She laughed so hard I thought she would barf.

A woman I know at my daughter’s school who I thought was badass friended me on FB. Husband name Wife name Last name. Most posts are his. And they are heinous.

Thank you for this. I’m sitting here with my eyes leaking.

This is very good news. Especially the laughter.

Was in retail management for almost two decades, and as someone with RBF anyway this drove me nuts. Some of the most helpful and customer service oriented people who worked for me ended up penalized by corporate because they forgot to recite the script answering the phone correctly. Or mystery shoppers said they…