I’m going to hell because I literally laughed out loud before seeing your note, and I’m double bad because I’ve called out authors here using abelist slurs. If we’re work-shopping your joke, I might try dropping the wheelchair reference, and shifting the emphasis, maybe:

Conservatism is a mental illness. 

I continue to be flabbergasted that 60 million women did not vote out every Republican for the next two decades. What is going on?

If Republicans were capable of embarrassment, wouldn’t they assign a staffer to verify they’re also capable of dressing independently before making public appearances?

I don’t think Republicans are capable of feeling embarrassment.

That “man” is a cunt.

It only needs a better slogan because the right wing and the mainstream media immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion and have not wasted an opportunity in the last three years to make bad-faith arguments against it. It doesn’t matter what the slogan is, the right wing and the mainstream media will do everything…

That’s exactly what defunding the police actually means.

This is why although “defunding the police” sounds bad investing in counseling and social services instead would be a better idea

Last I checked stalking is a crime. Also, isn’t the rationale of unarmed police shootings that they fear for their lives? So, in the same vein, couldn’t she and her family have shot him/them because they feared for their lives?

I’d also point out that him showing up at the press conference was clearly stalking. She isn’t a political official anymore, so their argument that he had a legitimate cause for stalking her doesn’t apply. 

So let’s take a look at applicable Vermont laws:

And born of Cindy McCain’s beer money and John McCain’s military legacy is the media idiot Megan McCain. Good job McCain family.

Senator McCain married his money, he wasn’t born into it.

I keep seeing conservative people I grew up with post stories about that. “Thanks to the armed guard(s?) at the school, only two students were shot and killed!” All the while I’m thinking THAT’S STILL STUDENTS THAT WERE SHOT AND KILLED!

Dear Fox, Why aren’t we hearing from the pro-bomb movement? You know, the people who support that bomber in Austin?

Hey now! I’ll have you know Todd Starnes is (allegedly) fueled by HUMAN piss.

Fox has a point. Why aren’t we hearing BOTH sides of this story.
As an adult professional, like many Fox News contributors, I have an opinion that their network is full of clown-ass frauds who are fueled by dog piss. It’s really their only option to let me on their network to express by dissenting opinion. It’s for…