Not awful at all! Bucky is a Very Good Boy and would make anyone’s Christmas better! I hope you enjoy your tamales; they sound absolutely amazing and I am very jealous. 

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time right now, though I hope and believe that better things really are in store for you. Is there anything you might really look forward to after Christmas Day--say, a box of a particularly favorite candy and a new ebook? (This is what I’m doing, since I am a continent away from any of…

I’m so sorry for your loss; that’s a terrible thing to go through. 

Dear Maya, I am so sorry that those physically closest to you have left you feeling so unloved. I’ve been following along with your news for the past several months now and it feels like as good a time as any to say how impressed I have been by your character and fundamental fucking goodness in the face of some really…

Oh my god. I’m so so sorry that your father is a monster. 

Christ on a bicycle. That woman sounds like a complete and total bitch. At least you never have to see her again! 

I’m imagining the sort of family that drinks Malört (tagline: “Tonight’s the night you fight your dad”).

The one time I heard all of “Memory” was at a funeral, for the father of one of my mom’s friends. He was Jewish, his wife was Catholic, they had attended a Unitarian Universalist congregation in Annapolis for 40 years, and after the chalice lighting, someone played this on a CD stereo and we all went to their country…

The only time I’ve ever heard of Starlight Express was in a Baby-Sitters’ Club book where Stacy takes her friend to New York to see it, and I think orders a regular soda instead of a Tab even though she has diabetes? It was a long time ago.

This film is going to rescue Christmas for everyone who isn’t looking forward to spending the day with their families. You can make them go see CATS! with you, and there will be so much collective what-the-fuckery that whatever else you experience cannot be worse than what you just saw unfold on the screen.

Clearly, I’m going to need to watch this with my girlfriends. Fizzy drinks, candy, and personal pizzas will abound! 

Oh, my darling, I am so sorry. Whatever is going on with him right now, and whatever you decide to do ultimately, now is probably a really good time to get yourself a lawyer, a therapist (if you don’t already have one/can afford one), and your best/most loyal friends all in your corner. I sincerely hope that whatever…

Wow, his siblings sound AGGRESSIVELY terrible. Like, y’all are old and still can’t get over one year without Christmas pudding when you were children?

I would DIE of joy and anticipation if Hadestown was made into a movie musical. 

I don’t know, at this point, I figure that if you are only a good person deep down, you’re probably not a good persona after all--not enough. Not in any way that matters. 

I find it so weird how the movies elide the existence of religion at all, apart from the weird priest who marries them and looks like a guy who would grope you at yoga under the guise of correcting your posture. I sort of assumed that they might be nominally Catholic, and given her dad’s overblown Italian-American New…

I am just so, so glad that other people get as het up about the details of world building in these silly movies as I do. Like, HOW was a hereditary monarchy still exercising any meaningful power? How did Prince Richard’s whole foolishness in the first film not precipitate a massive constitutional crisis? Why was he so…

I am so happy for you! It sounds like you went through a lot, and balmy weather and a supportive new SO is exactly right for you. That’s really, truly lovely.

Well, I’m living in South Asia right now, so as usual, it is 85 degrees and humid. I had a large G&T on my patio, and then ordered Japanese food for dinner. 

What’s up?