Right? Start with a nice Irish coffee, move into a shandy or a spritzer, graduate into wine with the meal and finish up with a coffee and a cognac.

Maybe one year you should skip it, or bail once it stops being fun and you have to start gritting your teeth. The peace is not your job alone. 

I’m going to be potentially annoying and repost a question from SNS, because I live in South Asia right now and the time difference means I can only start posting at the tail end of SNS most of the time, but also I need advice.

Amy March was right. She is the only one of those girls who knew the score and played to win. 

That would be lovely! I think so often, one of things we get denied as people with marginalized identities, is the chance to show the lightness, the silliness, the sweetness and frothiness that so often are held as reserves for the privileged. Whether it’s Queen Latifah’s Last Holiday or Crazy Rich Asians, there’s…

Thank you! And yes--oh my god, he is incredible (CW: mushiness) and so kind and lovely and treats me like gold and funny and a fantastic lay, so I basically feel like I won the jackpot here. 

I’m sorry. It sounds like you have been really brave and open thus far about what you need and trying to make that happen, and those are qualities that will continue to stand you in good stead as you end your marriage. Best of luck to you. 

It’s amazing that you are seeing a trauma therapist and setting boundaries around patrons. Even though you say you are not taking particularly good care of yourself, those steps are huge and nothing to scoff at. 

I’m so sorry about your dad. I’m sure he was thrilled to be at your wedding, and it sucks that you had to go through this. I hope your new spouse (!, congratulations) is providing you with some much-needed support right now. 

Such good kitties! Thanks for the updates! 

Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s really awful. I truly hope that the news from the surgery ends up being positive. 

Ugh, I hate it when people act like that! The only consolation is that your boss almost certainly didn’t think well of her for interrupting her vacation for something so petty. Ideally, she’d be willing to back your play, and respond with something like “DerbyDuck handles these things, and I don’t need to be looped in…

Sometimes, I put on music very, VERY loudly, and dance--if my heart has a reason to beat fast, then I weirdly feel less scared? I don’t know. 

So, recently my partner and I got engaged! (This guy right here) I proposed on our anniversary--while we’ve only been together for a year, I felt really good about asking him, and the work we do means that our best chances of getting assigned together is to get married (something he also knew). We’re interested in…

UPDATE: So we’ve been together for a year, the past five months long distance as we are assigned to different countries. We just met up last week for the first time in five months, and...we got engaged!

I like wearing jeans when I’m going out to bars where I’ll be doing a lot of standing, because when I have the right jeans, my ass is unstoppable. Rachel Syme’s piece on high-waisted jeans was everything I’ve ever wanted in trousers, denim or otherwise.

Hey! I recognize you. And as an Internet Neighbor who’s been following your news for a while, you are not screwing up your daughter. You have done your level best to be a supportive, positive presence, and you are also a normal human person who will inevitably experience challenges with showing up for the kid you love…

I grew up Mormon, and spent part of my teen years in Utah, and ultimately, it was the emphasis on the importance of marriage that convinced me I ought to have sex before marriage.

There’s also the possibility that if you are traveling on your honeymoon, you might not know where to seek medical attention if you do end up with a UTI, either because you get them sometimes or you forgot to pee after sex or what have you. 

When I was 21, I had to go to my doctor for a physical before departing for my Fulbright; my family lived in Utah at the time and I grew up Mormon, albeit on the East Coast. My GP talked to me about exactly this sort of thing—asked if I was sexually active, and noted that if I was planning on getting married any time…