That’s so dope! The best thing that happened to me this week: I had a third date with this guy and it was SO GOOD. He had to work late, so we got late-night falafel from the place near my apartment (and he drove out to see me, because he knows I have work early and need lots of sleep). I really like seeing him (and…

Jesus! Yeah, that man is definitely a grade-A cunt. May he step on nothing but Legos forever. 

Ooh, I feel you on this! Fuck those people; they don’t live in your skin and won’t get it. I also just started seeing someone and sometimes it’s just nice to have things be nice and feel right for you. So I hope you have lots of fun and feel free to make mistakes, because this dude will also make mistakes and you’ll…

Congratulations on the new job! That’s awesome; you deserve good things. And JESUS this assisted living center! Also, on the scale of things I think it’s way more illegal to leave people’s medical records unsecured like that than it is to take your family member’s records with you (since you’re her caretaker and all). 

Your boss sounds like a bitch, and not the fun kind. I had a similar makeup problem with my boss this past year (I was in grad school, and a research assistant for a professor). Any time I came in without makeup, he was Deeply Concerned that I was unwell, and would remark on how Not Good I was looking. Son, I get…

I don’t have specific advice about your incompetent assistant situation, but the archives over at Ask a Manager have some really good advice on pretty much this sort of thing.

Congratulations, that’s so exciting! And by all means, snap up housewares and power tools--they are a great source of joy. 

When I was a TA in grad school, I had a student come to me and explain that one of her teammates had participated in none of the research-gathering (which Student A had busted her ass to get done) and blithely took credit for the group research that formed the basis of Student B’s project. Under those circumstances, I…

Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Depression sucks so hard, and it sounds like you’re pretty burnt out at your job on top of things. When my depression is in a flare-up, I typically use this blog post from Captain Awkward to help me maintain a semblance of functioning.

Oh, that sucks balls. I’m so sorry about your shitty employer and what’s happening to your mom. I think you don’t need to go back if you don’t want to. Just send an email saying “Given the tenor of our last conversation when I explained my family emergency, I think it would be best if [day you quit] was my last day.…

That makes sense. I’m sorry you’re sad. 

Hey, Jezzies! What’s everyone drinking tonight? I’m going with a red wine from Trader Joe’s that cost $4.

That works for me. 

I’d be fine with none, too. None works. 

I was a bit in the middle--I knew, realistically, that it was probably a scam, but I also really wanted it to be real. 

Yikes! Don’t waste their gifts on someone who will clearly never do anything with what he’s given. 

There are a lot of international students at AU who have the cash to throw around. She was in a class with me, and knowing some old dude was doing her homework makes me feel a lot better about my own grades in that class. 

He was the WORST and I still don’t understand why his wife is still married to him. I also desperately want to go drinking with his mother-in-law, who must have wondered what the fuck her child was thinking. 

It always makes me think of Toronto Restaurant Asshole who bitched and moaned for 1,000 fucking words about how he failed his family opening a restaurant and somehow never managed to take responsibility.

I’ve done this. It’s harder to resist when I’ve been drinking, which is why there is a video in the depths of my phone where I sound like Liam Fucking Neeson after a dinner with colleagues from Belfast.