My worst recent example is the guy who told me on our fourth (!) date, that he had “concerns” about my weight, basically saying he thought I was too fat to go hiking and such with him. Which: dude, we’ve gone out before and you knew what I looked like that whole time. Also, you don’t have standing to have or register…

Oh, I needed to hear this. I am in finals for grad school right now, and yesterday I got nothing done because I was not feeling well. It’s good that you are giving yourself grace, and time to rest. You are good. Your work is good. Things will turn out okay. And there are always corgi butts.

What a fucking jerk! I’m sorry that happened, and that it still has you feeling down (although I totally get it). For what it’s worth: losing 80 pounds is a huge deal, and so is getting stronger. I bet you looked great! I think that’s some cool shit and you are entirely justified in being proud of yourself. And in…

YOU LOOK FABULOUS!!!! Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way: I’m drinking peppermint tea, because I have had weird stomach stuff going on for days now and I just want to feel normal again. The Bartender sounds lovely, but I also totally hear you on anxiety and not trusting your own judgment about who is an…

I’m pretty good! It’s finals week for my final semester of grad school (!), and I only have a few things standing between me and sweet, sweet freedom: this 20-page paper (historiography of French gender relations in the 20s and 30s), a short blog post, and commenting on some discussion boards for another class. My…

Thanks for sharing your advice. I grew up in a conservative, religious household, and didn’t even start having sex until two years ago, and I find I’m still getting used to figuring out what I like, and how to actually ask for it. It’s good to know there are things about this that will get easier.

As part of moving away from “JD is the only Latinx writer we’re talking about”, who are your favorite Latina writers? I haven’t read anything for fun in about two years (grad school) and would love some recommendations that I can then suggest to my friends.

Plus, that means we get more “Boobs in California”! Although this is always my favorite Titus song:

That’s a good point. I’m lucky, in that I paid for my move in advance to get a pretty solid discount, but I’m going into the foreign service, which means 1) Lots of moving around, and 2) houses at post are typically pre-furnished, so it’s a question of figuring out what I really love enough to wait six months for it…

This sounds lovely! I’m about to move out of my place, and I’m trying to figure out what from my stuff I should ditch (my dresser, probs, and also maybe my bed?) and what is worth keeping (fancy couch that turns into a queen bed, dining set, bar cart). I’ve also had almost all of this stuff for 2-6 years, and it’s…

I have one of these! I live in a 500 sq ft. studio, and my dining table seats 2 with the leaf down. If I have company, I scooch the coffee table over, flip up the leaf, and seat 4 people (though realistically, 3, because that is the number of dining chairs I own).

I have one of these! I live in a 500 sq ft. studio, and my dining table seats 2 with the leaf down. If I have company, I scooch the coffee table over, flip up the leaf, and seat 4 people (though realistically, 3, because that is the number of dining chairs I own).

I’m always here for music videos that include a drumline.

It is. There are dye jobs that can make that level of hair-skin contrast work; whoever made his wig for those films was apparently not in a position to do one of them.

Yes, yes he was. My eight-year-old self is VINDICATED, and she will accept tribute for her awesome judgment in the form of gel pens, Lisa Frank notebooks, and American Girl books.

Nah, he’s in the Sunken Place now, and he went there freely. That was a choice.

Something tells me that even if Ye is in a hardcore manic episode, he was a certifiable asshole before he was ever symptomatic.

This is the majority of my summer diet. I call it the “cocktail party diet”: it’s all tiny cubes of cheese, fruit, crackers, charcuterie and olives, with copious amounts of sparkling rosé. If I ever write the book for it, the tagline would be: “You won’t lose weight, and you’ll have a great time doing it!”

I once fell in love with a man I was dating because he made me risotto. I know, it’s not terribly complicated, but at the time it wasn’t a thing I knew how to make, and I mentioned on a date that I thought it was kinda fancy. He listened, he remembered that this was a way to impress me, and then he made it.

Oh, absolutely. This was my sister when she moved away to college: she was the oldest, and therefore more agile at running away from kitchen chores. It wasn’t until she called home frequently to ask my mom how to do (to my mind) fairly basic stuff that I realized that I had actually won in the long run. Now, she’s a…