The hottest of takes!

It is the clam chowder of website designs.

I suppose though, that just because the points system is real, doesn’t mean that it necessarily results in the majority of non-French, non-Floridian people ending up in the Bad Place.

Good Place opensourced Janets!

Seriously—he followed us out of the bar and down the block, and spat on my face.

Proudest Halloween costume of my life!

Scared Straight: Serial Killer Edition

I could see that. Moose survives on sheer stubbornness, dumb luck, and being a slab of meat.

Skin crawl is EXACTLY it.

I really was hoping for Archie to mangle some Spanish, or completely fuck up where V’s family was from.

I do appreciate that while Sheriff Keller is a terrible sheriff, he is a really good dad. I did hope his chat with Kevin would end with “You’re grounded for two weeks” because OH MY GOD, KEEP YOUR CHILD OUT OF THE FUCKING WOODS.

Also, how far along is Polly? I feel like we have no idea when she’s due.

For me, it was the moment when she and Betty both showed up to the newspaper room with kettles. I want her and Betty to be friends!

I would love to see the White ISIS video as directed by Cheryl Blossom. Those masks would have been maple-red, for a start.

That’s what I think it is: Hermione was the one who did a lot of what Hiram got arrested for, and if she leaves, he’ll get her thrown in jail.

Also, there’s something really weird about Hermione describing her daughter as “thirsty” for seeking her father’s approval. I’ve always understood thirst as having a sexual component, which...ew.

My research methods professor thanks you for your service.

For me, it’s a bowl full of roasted vegetables, topped with poached eggs, while watching (and rewatching!) Riverdale.

Oh, god, I’m the exact opposite. It’s so much easier for me to eat well on my own, because I feel like no one will judge me for eating my roasted vegetable bowl, while my friends are all “Fries! Second bottle of wine!” and I’m like YOU GUYS, I AM DIETING FOR A LEGITIMATE REASON.

I empathize with your child. Sadly, my father has far bigger issues of parental malpractice that get laid at his door, but at least this one is funny in retrospect.